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02 July 2004 @ 10:59 pm
 
Winni died... I hate even writing those words... Her liver gave out. They said her blood pressure dropped, and they couldn’t get it back up. My poor puppy dog... :( We all got a chance to say goodbye to her at least. When she saw my dad, she wagged her tail, and she tried to get up, so he leaned in to cuddle with her. She’s always so excited whenever he comes home from work, or when he’s been gone for awhile. She jumps up until he picks her up and cuddles her and scratches her neck, and she licks his face. He hadn’t come with us yesterday, so this was the first time he saw her in a couple days. So she was still happy to see him, hehe.

She looked so tired. She just layed there, and we all pet her. She would look at each of us, and she had that sad little face. At this point, we knew she was going to have to have surgery, and they had said it didn’t look good, but, you know, we were still hoping... I tried not to cry, but I did some. It’s hard thinking that this might be the last time you see your dog... We were going to come in tomorrow too before her surgery. When we left, I said, “See you later, Winni.” And then, I decided to say, “Bye bye.” Just in case, I guess... I pet her for the last time, her back, and her head. I waved. And I looked back again as we went out the door.

You think back at like.. the last time she gave you kisses, the last time my sister brought her into my room to wake me up, the last time you pet her goodnight... I miss my puppy dog. :( There’s just so many things to think about. You walk through the house and remember seeing her there. She would come in my room and sniff around. And, like my mom said, it’s just hard imagining her not being there...

This is probably the closest someone has ever been to me that died... My grandfather died when I was a year old, so I don’t remember him. Columbine was just friends of kids you knew. Someone I went to school with was in a car accident. I remember seeing him around and things, but we weren’t really friends. And someone my sister knew, who lived adjacent to our backyard was in a car accident too, but I just saw him occassionally. I saw Winni every day... She was like a member of the family. Our ‘sibling’ we used to say. She was just always there, and always being so cute and adorable. We really loved her...

It’s just hard to believe... *sigh* I miss her... But, yes, all things come to an end. This day would come eventually. It’s just so hard to say goodbye. I hated leaving her when we went on vacation. So our parents were eventually convinced to take her with. The last time we went on vacation, we were packing all of her things into the car, and she was getting so worked up. She’d whine whenever someone went out the door. We had to hold her so she wouldn’t try to sneak out. She was so afraid we were going to leave her.

I remember how she’d follow my mom around the house all the time. Sometimes when my mom wasn’t home, she’d follow my sister or I. She was always so cute. She’d snuggle up in blankets, and it was so adorable. When she wanted us to rub her belly, she’d roll onto her back and wave her paws in the air. *sigh* I’m going to miss her so much... This evening, we were looking through the old photos of her, we were remembering alot of things. It’s just hard to think that this is it. We won’t see her anymore. But we can still remember all the joy she brought us, all those cute little quirks she had...

Tonight was hard. Lots of hugs, and lots of tears, and lots of thinking... And I’m sure there will be more ahead.

Goodnight, Winni. I love you. My cute little puppy dog...




Winni
4/9/96 - 7/2/04
 
 
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: Dream Theater - Goodnight Kiss
 
 
 
CriScOcrisco747 on July 2nd, 2004 10:08 pm (UTC)
You know I'm not a hard man to find if you need to talk. Feel free to call me anytime, regardless of the hour. My thoughts are with you.
Vivinusvivinus on July 2nd, 2004 11:00 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry for your loss..