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27 September 2006 @ 03:42 am
 
Pondering school/career... I should definitely get my GED, just cause it’s annoying when filling stuff out, etc. to say that no, technically I didn’t graduate from high school. And if I do decide to start going to Metro or elsewhere it will likely be a requirement. And then, I’m pondering going to Metro and getting a BA. Talking to an advisor down there would likely help me make a decision. Do I need a BA? Would it be useful to me? How else do I begin to venture into the professional realm, aside from auditioning for local shows and building my resume? And I need to push myself to write regularly on something. I have all these stories wanting to be told, yet need to gain self-discipline in order to pour the words onto the page so that people can see and read these tales running through my mind. Keep telling myself this. Gotta do it.

Thinking about my lonerishness too. I’m just not sure I really want to meet people, to make friends, to go places and be social. I’d rather not bother I guess, cause it seems like the majority of people I’m just not interested in. Classmates, acquaintances, sure. But I don’t really have a need for friends to go out and do things with. I’m pretty content as I am. And I have enough trouble getting myself to finish these projects of mine with the time I have currently. I think social anxiety is still a difficulty too. I worry about drawing attention. I feel uncomfortable walking into school and through the halls, passing all these people. That’s certainly not a way to meet new people and make friends when you’re just concerned about ignoring everyone around you and just making it to the relative safety of a classroom. Yeah... it’s really no wonder I don’t have (m)any friends. But I’m not sure that I want it to change.