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12 May 2007 @ 12:01 am
Moving onward  
Looking at jobs for the summer... Deer Creek Animal Hospital is looking for a part-time receptionist, and Laund-ur-mutt dog washing/grooming is looking for help. I think I’d rather wash doggies than answer phones... Only problem might be lifting big dogs and getting soaking wet, hehe. I think about contacting them though, and I think, “Wait. Am I ready for this? Shouldn’t I take care of other things first?” Well, what do I have to do? I’ll probably talk to an advisor at Metro sometime next week. I have to edit the ending of Ferryman sometime relatively soon. And I have to edit Stareleon and send that in. Have to study for and take the GED. All that I can still do if I have a part-time job. But it seems like, even with these other things, I keep trying to put stuff in the way, think of other things that I need to get done first.

Maybe it’s just the fear of these big steps. Getting a job, finally getting something published, getting the GED, starting at a new school. It’s like part of the reason I don’t get stuff done is because I want to hold onto it, I don’t want to take that next big step. But won’t it feel good to have it out of the way? I don’t know, it’s weird. It’s sort of like, once that’s done, what else is there to do? How about all these other projects I want to work on? All these other stories I have, novels I want to get out on paper. I keep wanting free time to do these things, and yet I keep myself from finishing what I need to that would give me more time. I guess it’s the difference of looking at these things as happening sometime in the future and having to do them right now. For so long I’ve thought of them as some far off thing, and now it’s right here. But it’s still one of the steps I have to take, one of the things that I want, so there’s no sense it putting it off, is there?