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14 February 2003 @ 09:36 pm
Striving toward sociability...  
Okay, I'm going to work on some things so I can actually feel like I'm living life again, instead of pining away in my room.

- Go shopping, go to the bookstore, just get out more on a regular basis.
- Buy a new purse. The one I have now is basically a wallet on a string, and I want to have room for a notepad and pencil so I can write if an idea comes to me when I'm out living life again.
- Get a car.
- Get my driver's license.
- Now that I'll have transportation, I can go places on my own. Out to lunch or to the bookstore. Just try to feel more comfortable outside doing things.
- And during this whole process, I can work on being more "approachable". Just how does one appear approachable? Or better yet, how does one feel approachable without feeling "fake"?

I also asked my mom to give Johnny my email address. My mom volunteers to raise money for the high school band by working at the bingo hall which Johnny's mom owns. She's been telling me about him, though I've been too nervous to actually go over there and meet him. Here's a picture of him. So.. does he look like Peter Forsberg? Anyway, I think I would feel more comfortable just talking with him online first, and maybe we can see where things go from there.

*takes a deep breath* Well.. I'm working on it. Hopefully by just taking little steps I'll be able to feel more comfortable out in the real world. And hopefully I can learn to just be "me" no matter what my surroundings are, and not worry about what other people might think, and break free of my self-consciousness. It seems like such a long way away, but at least I'm trying...
 
 
Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: Blind Guardian - And Then There was Silence