Marianne (resplendentposy) wrote,

  • Mood:
I don’t think this is going to work... I write, but not anything which has the potential of being published one day. I don’t focus enough on one project. I want to see this come to be, but I just.. don’t do it... I sit and read over what I’ve written and then just stare blankly at the screen. This isn’t going anywhere... I’ve written 17 words today. One sentence. And I don’t know where this is going. It’s like my brain shuts off, and I can’t keep thinking of what I want to do with this.

So it stays stagnant. And I become bored and restless. I don’t know what would help. I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I read some of the book Childhood’s Secrets, hoping to gain some inspiration. Some seemed to fit my character, but I’m not sure it helped. I’m just not sure what direction I want to take, how to express the beginning of this boy’s childhood, how he gets to where he is now. I’m stuck in the same room, unsure of what will come next.

I just don’t know if I can keep pushing this when it is so difficult for me. I don’t know if I can continue hoping when presented with this lack of progress. And if this doesn’t work, I don’t know what will... I don’t know what else I can do. You know the feeling that you’ve hardly begun life, but you’ve already failed? Bleh, I’ve been an “aspiring novelist” for years, and how much have I actually accomplished? I stopped another project and took on this one because I thought it would be easy, I already had the story in place, and it was about a character I loved. But now I’m just ending up frustrated. It makes me wonder if this is really for me...
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