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07 April 2002 @ 04:02 am
 
I remember a time
My frail, virgin mind
Watched the crimson sunrise
Imagined what it might find
Life was filled with wonder
I felt the warm wind blow
I must explore the boundaries
Transcend the depth of winter's snow
Innocence caressing me
I never felt so young before

My mind has been full all day. I tend to dwell on things a lot, so I can sense it will be a while before I feel better. I cried a lot too... I thought maybe I let myself get too upset about things, but it hurts when one thinks about pouring your soul into someone who doesn't even care about you...

I just let myself get caught up in things, and I enjoyed the illusion of having someone who liked spending time with me and making me feel special, and who was charming and sweet and funny. But now that the illusion is gone, I feel disenchanted. I feel neglected, and ignored, and used, and I'm upset with myself for letting me become so attached.

I'm not sure what I will do now. I don't really want to talk to him or be around him... I will have to decide what to do with Aerydais, if I will even want to play her anymore. I think I'll still end up keeping her... I just don't know if I will feel the same way about things with Stephen. Maybe I can still keep things in character... And maybe Chapel will realize he needs to stop being an ass.


I was blinded by a paradise
Utopia high in the sky
A dream that only drowned me
Deep in sorrow, wondering why
 
 
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: Dream Theater - A Change of Seasons