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08 June 2005 @ 03:21 am
I sang solo in front of people for the first time tonight. For acting class, we had to do a voice piece, so I decided to sing Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan by Nightwish (whoa, I spelled that right first try). At first, though I considered it, I didn’t think I’d be able to do it, because I’ve never even sang in front of my family (unless they happened to sneak up on me that is). But, I figured it was a fear I had to get over, and if I ever hoped to one day have my own band, then this would be a good step. I just told myself that this was a safe environment; I only have 10 or so classmates, and they’re not going to eat me alive. I can’t let fear keep me from performing, especially if this is what I want my career to focus on. So, I practiced, and I got up there and sang, even though I was nervous. It sounds different when you’re singing in front of people. *snicker* Maybe you just feel extra self-conscious, so you notice things more. Also, the notes are higher than my regular speaking voice, so that probably had to do with it too. But, I did well, and I got compliments, which then made me more embarrassed, hehe. But I’m glad I was able to push through that fear. :)

I’ve been working on that lately, just doing things even if I feel uncomfortable about it, interacting more socially, etc. Before, I’d worry so much about doing or saying things “right”, and that people would react negatively towards me. But I’m starting to see that I can’t keep holding back. I have talents and insight to share with the world, and the only way people will recognize that is if I show them. I get all these compliments about things I do, and I have to be sure to appreciate these gifts I have and to utilize them and share them with other people. No one will know what you have to offer if you keep it bottled up inside.

Hello, mirror
So glad to see you, my friend
It’s been awhile
Searching, fearless
Where do I begin to heal this wound
Of self-denial?

Face yourself, man!
Brace yourself and
Trace your hell back

You’ve been blinded
Living life, a one-way cold existence
All the while
Now it’s time to
Stare the problem right between the eyes
You long lost child
Richcpiseco on June 8th, 2005 03:26 pm (UTC)
Congrats on the solo debut! I'm glad you up and did it! Now it only gets easier. My accolades!
The Other Grendel Slayer: wolfmoonbeerwulf on June 8th, 2005 06:22 pm (UTC)
Excellent! You're on your way to a new you. :)