Marianne (resplendentposy) wrote,

Unfinished thoughts

I notice that I write stuff that I mean to post some day, and either don’t finish it because my train of thought wanders off, or else don’t post it because it doesn’t feel right. So, I’m going to say screw trying to make my lj entries perfect, and just post what I’ve written. It conveys the general idea of what I was thinking anyway, even if it’s not as complete as I want it to be. So, here are some things I’ve written recently...

I was listening to the Nightwish album Wishmaster, which I just got for my birthday. When I first listened to it, it sounded so epic.. almost too epic. And then I remembered that I liked epic. So now I’ve got all the songs stuck in my head, hehe. And I don’t even know most of the words. Tarja sings so high on this album... I just can’t sustain those notes. But her voice is lovely. Oh, and it’s the same guy who does Dead Boy’s voice in Dead Boy’s Poem as it is who does his voice on Century Child? Wow.. did puberty do a number on him or something? Hehe. I could have sworn that was a grown man! And there were only two years between the recordings of the albums. Maybe they just used an effect or something? It sounds like it almost goes into Marco’s voice at the end of Bless the Child. That’s just kind of amusing, hehe. Dead Boy hits puberty... Oh, dear.

Wow, I have a range of over three octaves. Cool, hehe. I’ve discovered that I can hit the very high G at the end of Dead Boy’s Poem: “An Ocean Soul...” But, I can’t get much higher than that and still sound decent, hehe. And the lowest note I can hit is a low E, below middle C.

I was listening to The Maiden and the Minstrel Knight by Blind Guardian. In the bridge right before the second rendition of the chorus, I can totally see a bunch of medieval lords and ladies dancing gracefully, and then suddenly breaking out into headbanging, lol.

You know, I am feeling much better than I was just a couple years ago.

I’m feeling... free.

Maybe it’s due to not having to deal with twinkish behavior and attitudes on FR. *snicker*

Even at school, around lots of people, I feel uncomfortable, but I don’t feel stifled.

I’m not depressed anymore. I get sad sometimes, but I’m hardly ever really depressed.

It’s been ages since I had my last freak-out, panic attack type thing. Well, I did have a minor panic attack over the summer when we went to see Fiddler on the Roof, and there were tons of people in the hall. But I went back to sit down and composed myself. When’s the last time I’ve thrown stuff across the room in frustration?

I feel the need to organize... I’ve just given all my notes neat little cubbies according to category: stories, songs, and other random things. I could probably stand to get rid of alot of these notes though... I’ve made a Word file for all my songs in progress, but then I can’t write in the margins, hehe. I’m such a packrat... Even my writing attempts that have been rejected in favor of something else, I am reluctant to throw away, for fear they may be of use at some point. So instead, they sit there, waiting until I get bored and decide to look through them again, and refuse to throw them away again.

I made an attempt at organizing my bookmarks, which are a mess. Now they are somewhat neater, but still in need of tidying up. I just tend to dump everything into one folder, hehe. Which sort of reminds me of the Word file which I am typing in right now... I think I need a dumping ground. I just keep finding stuff, or thinking of stuff, and needing to put it somewhere. I compose all kinds of livejournal entries/comments, random musings, etc. here. And I’ve been using this same file since... 2002. It’s over 1000 pages long, lol. Almost as bad - no, wait, worse - than the quotefile. Yeah.. I should start a new file, or better, several files, before I get even more lost looking for stuff I wrote ages ago. I used to put everything in separate files. Then I just ended up with too many files with hardly anything written in them, so I created a general dumping ground, hehe.

I guess I have a negative view of humanity as a whole. Or society... or something... Bloody human beings messing everything up.

My boy bought me the new Demons and Wizards cd. Mm, epic/power metal-ness... They did a cover of Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song! Hehe! It sounds good. :)
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