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08 June 2007 @ 01:09 am
Meh. I’m sad. And I don’t know if my medications are doing anything. My doctor just prescribed a couple new meds to try. Right now I’m still taking Anafranil (clomipramine). I’ve been taking that for years though, and I don’t know if it’s still doing me any good, cause it’s been so long since I’ve been off it. I originally started taking it for ocd and depression. Both ocd and depression seem improved, though I don’t know if that’s cause of the meds or my therapy or both. I’ve mostly just been getting depressed right before my period, but I’ve been having issues with that too. My doctor started me on Loestrin a couple months ago cause I’ve been having spotting between my periods. But that really hasn’t done anything. I’m still bleeding and I was depressed a couple weeks ago and right after it seemed as though I started on my period, although I’m supposed to start this week. And I really hope I’m not having to deal with pms twice a month now. :(

So... now my doctor has prescribed tri-levlen and clonazepam. Oh, I had been taking a small dose of propranolol for anxiety/tremor, but that didn’t do much good either, so if clonazepam doesn’t work, then she’ll have me take a larger dose of propranolol. I still experience anxiety, mainly when in stressful situations like rushing to get somewhere on time or performing onstage or around lots of people. I seem to have a perpetual tremor in my hands, though I have noticed it more when under stress. (And, looking it up, a side effect of Anafranil is tremor. So is that causing it, or is it anxiety?) Also, I have trouble breathing sometimes, like I can’t get a deep breath. It comes and goes, not necessarily just when I’m feeling anxious, so not really like a panic attack. I’ve tried asthma medications, but those didn’t seem to help, so we’re figuring it’s linked to anxiety. I don’t know if there’s a way to tell for sure though.

But, the pharmacist said that clonazepam can potentially cause dependence and shouldn’t really be used regularly longterm. My doctor prescribed it for twice a day every day though, and I’m figuring, if it does work, she’ll want me to stay on it. So, my mom wants to try and talk more with our doctor about it first. I guess I’ll try the other birth control in another week and see how that goes. I just want to be able to fix these little things that are wrong though. Or at least know for sure what’s causing them. I don’t like not being able to breathe and just guessing that it’s linked to anxiety. And I don’t even know if the med I have been taking is doing anything, other than noticing I’m improved from where I was five years ago. But a lot has changed since then too. Getting kind of tired of the guess and check method with drugs too, but how else am I going to find what works?
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Vickiemelopene on June 8th, 2007 04:12 pm (UTC)
How's your sleep? Sleep and stress can affect that sort of thing, in my experience... doctors always ignored my insomnia when I'd mention it until my latest doctor - she put me on something that mixes well with antidepressants, and things got 100% better.
Marianneresplendentposy on June 9th, 2007 05:18 am (UTC)
I usually get enough sleep, though I ought to try getting to bed earlier and getting up earlier. I haven't really noticed any change in my behavior or anything that might be affecting things, so I don't know.
Dracodracowayfarer on June 10th, 2007 03:41 am (UTC)
What's "enough" sleep? Do you sleep well (through the entire night) or do you toss and turn, or wake up in the middle of the night?

What time are you getting to sleep and waking up?
Marianneresplendentposy on June 10th, 2007 04:33 am (UTC)
Generally, I don't notice myself waking up too often, or when I do I can get back to sleep pretty easily. I usually go to bed around four, and my wakeup time depends upon whether I have to be somewhere or not. For class this summer, I am getting up around 10:30. And I seem to use the days I don't have to be anywhere to catch up sleepwise. I've slept in til three (though I notice I tend to get bummed out if I sleep all day when I could have been doing other things). I know I can go to bed and get up earlier, like this weekend I have to be at school at 10 in the morning for tech stuff for our summer production. I went to bed around 2 last night. I want to try and get used to an earlier schedule so that it's not as hard for me to be places at normal people time.
Draco: Take Thisdracowayfarer on June 10th, 2007 03:45 am (UTC)
Unfortunately, from what I understand of meds (which is, granted, fairly limited), most of it is just guess and check.

Hang in there.