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08 September 2008 @ 02:57 am
 
Just being around and talking with other people more, I notice that I'm very... naive? That word seems to have negative connotations though. Inexperienced, innocent, unfamiliar with these worldly things. I've never really lived here, you know? I've always lived in my head. I think I'm highly sensitive to those things that point out the reality of life, that stir me from my idealized visions. Little things that other people pay no attention to, have come to accept as reality. Oh, that's what real is. I was never this close to it before. Little fairytale queen waking from her slumber. Still figuring life out, clinging to her dreams. I guess in a way it's endearing, also kind of scary. I feel misplaced, still trying to get my bearings and adapt, trying to learn what's expected of me. Everyone else seems so much more evolved. Slowly getting there though. And it does feel good to look back and see how far I've come. Just another area to work on, I suppose, someplace to grow. And maybe I can figure out how to show the inner me, all that I have developed, all my thoughts, my self. Scary though. I think I have a fear of rejection, or of putting myself out there, putting effort forth and being hurt by it. Even little things. Just sensitive, I suppose. Maybe that will ease with time and experience. Silly girl. You'll find your way. One step at a time.
 
 
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
 
 
 
Draco: Death & Dreamdracowayfarer on September 9th, 2008 01:42 am (UTC)
Long paragraph is long! :P

I've always lived in my head.

It's much cozier up there isn't it?

I feel misplaced, still trying to get my bearings and adapt, trying to learn what's expected of me.

It's daunting. I know.

Everyone else seems so much more evolved.

They're not. They're just more used to dealing with things in the "mundane" world. They'd be totally lost if you invited them to your world, too.

I think I have a fear of rejection, or of putting myself out there, putting effort forth and being hurt by it.

"It is sometimes a mistake to climb; it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt."

-- Neil Gaiman

Silly girl. You'll find your way. One step at a time.

Same as we all do.


*hug*