Marianne (resplendentposy) wrote,

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Elf for lunch, elf for dinner.
If I can't find elf I might get thinner.
I'd never turn down some halfling stew,
but if I'm really hungry, I might eat you.

Ogrish Nursery Rhyme

Hm.. we have new end quotes... Anyway...

I have reached the point of inspirational overload... I now want to actually continue building my fae city, start working on Shatiras, come up with a way to re-introduce one of my characters into the game and start playing her again, level another of my characters, develop and run a couple of roleplay quests, continue writing two of my stories, become more involved in a few online forums... And this is what I want to do for fun, it's not even counting getting my driver's license, thinking of going to college this fall, or finding a job I'd actually be interested in...

And, it might actually work if I could happen to find the motivation to actually do those things, but I seem to have misplaced it... This is why nothing I do ever gets done... Because I work on one project until I am inspired to begin another, and then leave the previous one unfinished. And yet, if I just focus on one thing at a time, I get bored easily. So I start something new again and again, until I look at all that I want to accomplish and get overwhelmed by it... So, while I begin something new to actually get the sense that I am doing something productive with my life, in actuality, I'm just digging the hole deeper...

This is why I'm not so sure if college would be good for me either. In essence, it would just be another thing that I do in my "free time", and not the main thing that I would like to focus on. And so, all the work that I would have to do for that would just seem to be busy work that takes up the time I want to spend writing or doing the things that are my main focus. And then I would fall into the same place that I did in high school... So.. my dilemma compounds... And in the end, I just end up back where I began, falling into the same cycle...

My blessing and my curse...
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