Looking back through one of my old journals, I found an entry dated 6-7-02, in the midst of my depression, in which I had a revelation that I was going to die by suicide. Thought about posting the whole thing, but it is rather personal. Here is an excerpt:
"I don't want to hurt anyone... I just don't know what to do. I've wasted so much already. I can't see myself going anywhere in the future. I have so many dreams that can't come true. So many impossible fantasies that I've wasted time hoping for..."
Eight years later I am achieving the dreams I could once only wish for. I am in movies. I have an imdb page. I have my Associate's degree and I'm two semesters away from getting my Bachelor's. I see a future. I see freedom and open doors. I feel so much more self-confident. I am doing things I simply could not have done back then.
It is hard to believe that I could go from where I was before, feeling so utterly dark and hopeless, to where I am now. I have made an amazing transformation socially, mentally. And most importantly, I am still here to experience this change, to see my dreams fulfilled. No matter how dark it may seem, it is possible to break free. It gets better. <3