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03 January 2003 @ 03:06 am
 
Okay... Advice on how to meet people with the same interests as me?

I'm not the type to just go up and say hi to someone. I'm a terrible conversationalist. The majority of the people out there, I want nothing to do with. And the majority of the people I want to meet most likely are as reclusive as me. So.. what do I do?
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Blind Guardian - Age of False Innocence
 
 
 
Vivinusvivinus on January 3rd, 2003 12:12 pm (UTC)
What I sometimes do is try ti find out what people are like just by sitting and watching everbody.. But then again, I also have no friends.

You can try things like going back to school (College is a great place to meet people). Maybe go to church or church events, Although I've personally never been to Church, I would think that's a good place to meet good people. Or try visiting the library, maybe read some of your favorite books (Or books you haven't read yet and would like to read), or look at things for inspiration in writing, and do some writing there, maybe someone will notice you and approach you, or you'll see someone reading a Dean Koontz book or something.

You can also trying making (Or having a web designer friend making) a personalized website, one of those "all about me" type of things. I know there are kinda of teen sites like that, where you can submit a picture and information about yourself and meet people that way (Even have things like that for dating, but that's usually for later aged people).

You live in Colorado, do you ski at all, or know how? You can always go skiing, or maybe ice skating (Always a chance of meeting a person that way).

Or maybe start playing the violin again and going to some music classes or something.

Just a few ideas to help, I guess.. You don't need to do anything you don't want to, just because people encourage it or you feel like you should. Just be content and happy.
Marianneresplendentposy on January 3rd, 2003 05:49 pm (UTC)
I've thought about going to the bookstore or something like that, but then I'm not sure what to do once I get there. Even if I see someone who I might want to try talking to, I have all these insecurities, and I don't think that I could take the first step and approach them. I also fear that I might be putting people off, because whenever I'm around people, I try to ignore them, never make eye contact, etc. because they make me uncomfortable. So if I don't look approachable, then I don't think people will approach me. I think that's the main problem that I have...
(Anonymous) on January 3rd, 2003 07:06 pm (UTC)
The bookstore is a good place to start. You're best bet is to try to let go of these certain insecurities and have more confidence in yourself. When good people choose friends, they don't look what's in the outside; they're first impression isn't "Oh, she's ugly so I'm not going to talk to her," etc, etc.

Asking simply questions could also leave time to spark up a conversation. Ask where to find a certain book, or just make simple comments about the book they are reading, to show interest and show them that you can relate and you have things in common.

There is no reason to feel insecure when trying to find a friend. The friend won't look for certain things, and would love you for who you are .. as cliche as that may sound. If they don't, then they aren't a friend to begin with, right?
(Anonymous) on January 3rd, 2003 12:24 pm (UTC)
From what I've read so far, you have a beautiful personality. Maybe you are very cautious in revealing that to people. I believe that once you show people the type of person that you are, you will find friends that can relate and be there for you. There is no need in selling yourself as far as making websites and whatnot. You can simply observe and begin conversation with one who you feel can be true and sincere as a friend, or maybe someone you just want to know a little better.

Good luck. :)
|\|¡|<progress on January 3rd, 2003 01:42 pm (UTC)
there are people that flock to others, and there are people to whom others flock.

be the second kind. be a source of positivity, information, solace, friendship and love. you'll find what you need.
Jonathanrjakegel on January 3rd, 2003 10:11 pm (UTC)

Dionae, you always seem so self-confident and extroverted as an online personality, and I am sure you can muster up some of the same kinds of social skills IRL no problem. The longest step is always the first. If you want to meet someone, pay attention to those who pay attention to you. Some people are so content with their current friends that they won't make an effort to say hi to you. So choose carefully. If you start to visit a public place regularly, like the library or church (though I despise it, I always see cute girls there :D), people will notice you and eventually take interest in you. It is up to you to make eye contact and put on your sweet smile to make sure that it doesn't take too long. You don't want people to notice you when "the nice old lady stops coming in here." As for the insecurities, they will go away on their own. As long as you learn to accept yourself (if you don't like something about yourself, you can either accept it or change it), any doubts you have will vanish like magic with time and experience. Also remember that you don't want to be judged before you are given a chance, so try not to judge others before you actually get to know them. And don't try to impress anyone. I always fall for a girl who only conforms to herself. Be yourself, and I know you will do great!

*DISCLAIMER* I am not an expert by any means, but I really do hope this gives you some confidence. Anybody with a desire to improve their current position deserves all the help in the world. :D