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16 May 2002 @ 02:59 am
 
I think I've given up on Chapel...

Before, I would always try to find ways to make him understand, and to please him, and to try and discover more about him. I suppose I was intrigued, but like so many have said, I was intrigued by something that wasn't really there. It's now obvious that he doesn't want to be pursued, and so I won't pursue him anymore. There is really no point, as I know he's not the kind of person I need to be around.

He deleted his characters today, after having his houseleader taken from him and his imm denied. I'm not sure if he'll be back at all, and I'm not sure why I still care... He and Terloch have always had their differences, but I don't blame Terloch for his decision. I actually was considering leaving, just because I didn't want to be around Rob...

I might still leave. I'm not sure. It's become less fun for me, I suppose. I'm not really interested in my mortal characters, or even my imm for that matter. I feel like I've been spending too much time on the game, and have been trying too hard to accomplish things for it. Also, a new rule will soon be coming into place where, if you are a member of the staff, you won't be allowed any mortal characters. I'm not so sure about this... While it's true, I haven't been playing my mortals near as often, I'm still uncomfortable with being restricted to having no mortal characters at all. I do still enjoy playing them from time to time... I'm just not sure what I will do.

I remember once thinking what my reaction would be if Chapel were denied... I had wondered if I would leave too, just because I relied so heavily on him. I suppose my reaction was different than it would have been back then. I didn't say anything. Just sat there and watched it all. I didn't feel relief or sadness or anything either way. I don't exactly feel like talking to him, though I haven't gotten over him completely. I wouldn't mind seeing him again, but I suppose that depends on the future.

"He loves making people feel the way they do just to get them to think about him, because if he's on their mind then he's successful."

...will he ever fail?
 
 
Current Mood: indifferentindifferent
Current Music: Dream Theater - Disappear
 
 
 
Ruyven Serraisruyvenserrais on May 16th, 2002 06:35 am (UTC)
Eh?!
You got to be kidding me.....you mean, Stephen, Chaps deleted and got denied? And now I won't have any morts to play!? Hell no, they aint taking Dade away from me, its just him and me left. Anyways, nuff about me, Dionae, you're being too hard on yourself again. I can say I've been there for 2 1/2 years (Bout as long as Boonie boy, Cefwyn and Anddrew), and I have seen people like you come, and then with the players/imms reactions, basically go into a tizzy and delete for NO reason at all. Keep playing there. I mean, if you need someone to talk to, I know that you don't head to school and all, but I am here, send an email to my addy, just don't hesitate, alright? (marrak17@yahoo.com). I can answer ya and help you out anytime. Oh yea, tell the boys at FR I won't be on for a bit because of work and complaining parents again. Just I know what you feel with Chaps, but in the end, he made the big bold way out, and he didn't take it to Terly. Email me as soon as you read this and explain the new rule and all the mess in FR about it, ok? I think I am going to have to write a powerful note to the realms, and then just basically fade for a bit.

Got to go, VOC bell rang.

-Ruy
nathannateaintemo on May 16th, 2002 07:18 am (UTC)
you and me are in the same boat..
(Anonymous) on May 16th, 2002 11:20 am (UTC)

You stated that Rob isn't the "kind of person you need to be around". The word `need` sticks out a bit for me.. It implies that you have a specific group of people you must spend time with in order to change yourself, however I've told you that you've obtained your perfection already, there is no reason to search for it anymore.

Not everything in life has a good side to it, this I'm sure you know. However, it's because of this that you must realize that although there is no true perfection, we are able to say that someone is perfect. You are perfect, we know that everything you do will not be perfect, however it will be the best that can be done, and that is why you `need` to be with whom you want to, not whom you need to...


..As for the first comment..
The supposed veterans at Feudal Realms really need to understand something... Nobody that plays cares about how long they have been playing. Why does it matter? What does it show? What does it prove? Absolutely nothing. Your competence and common sense has nothing to do with the quantity of time spent with something. The longer you've been playing the game (Only with consideration you keep on saying the numbers) is a good thing albeit it bad as well. As you continue to express the time you've been playing you are only showing your growing incompetence, forcing all to assume that it has taken you "This" long to realize something.

You've seen people like Marianne come and leave Feudal Realms? Had I not played as long as you? I had not seen anybody like Marianne, she's special, and that's why I still continue to talk to her even though I no longer play (And quitting was a wonderful thing to do, now I don't have to put up with shit from arrogant conceits like you).


Sorry for the rambling, we'll talk like I said later..

~A splendiferous blossom