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29 May 2003 @ 01:54 am
I've been thinking about becoming a model... I looked up some modeling agencies online. And then the anxiety set in... I am so not ready for the real world. The concept of going in for an interview is ludicrous. I can't just smile and try to leave a good impression. I'm not.. "personable". I fear that I am unable to function in such a society where introvertedness is such a cruel bane. I simply cannot do what others can. I still consider it a gift, as I could not stand to be just part of the mindless crowd. Though when the crowd runs the world, the gifted are caught trying to fit in where they don't belong.

So do I keep struggling to fit in? What else can I do? People expect you to fit. I am unnormal. And when you're not normal, how to you go about doing normal things? Bleh, I'm stuck wandering in circles. Perhaps it would help to read more of The Loner's Manifesto... Here's to my kindred, who, like me, are different.

"It is no sign of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" - Krishnamurti
Current Mood: sullen
Current Music: Blind Guardian - Noldor (Dead Winter Reigns)