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11 September 2003 @ 02:30 am
Lost in the sky
Clouds roll by and I roll with them
Arrows fly
Seas increase and then fall again

This world is spinning around me
This world is spinning without me
Every day sends future to past
Every breath leaves me one less to my last

I don't want to do this anymore... Every day is the same. And the things which could make it different, I cannot move myself to do. Sigh... Why can't we sleep forever?
Current Mood: sadsad
castration.of.the.heartarima_goku on September 11th, 2003 11:03 am (UTC)
You are still invited to come to a show with my friends and me, if you want to.
Marianne: thornsresplendentposy on September 11th, 2003 05:43 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure if I want to, I guess that's the thing. I keep wishing I could go out and do things and have people to do them with, but when it comes to thinking about actually doing something, I'm.. afraid? A part of me wants to skip the awkwardness of meeting new people and just suddenly be blessed with friends. And another part of me just wants to hide in my room and never come out. Bleh...
castration.of.the.heartarima_goku on September 11th, 2003 06:24 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean. Well if you ever want to, you can come.
Jonathanrjakegel on September 12th, 2003 09:47 pm (UTC)
Get a job. It forces you into a new environment, and every once in a while you get lucky and find a genuine friend in a coworker. Just a warning though, your job will probably suck unless you work hard to find something you are passionate about. At least...that's how it is for me, and we seem to have a lot of similarities.

After a brief period of extreme depression and seeking for jesus (which I don't believe in traditional or any otherwise established religions), i came to the conclusion that I either need to find a purpose with which to direct my life, or I need to realize an ending to my need for purpose. naturally, i chose c; don't do either and let the chips fall as they may. then i went and took a walk with my dog, trying to let the world bedazzle me. at least i'm in a good mood now.

just thought maybe you could relate. good luck

ps, one last comment. i live in the shelter of my own fear. i know people say to take risks, and i have always (up until yesterday) saw myself as a semi-risky lifestyle. but the cold hard truth is that i only have a seemingly dangerous, but well evaluated and virtually risk-free life. i rarely did anything unless i knew all angles of the outcome, and none of those angles disappointed me. taking risks is doing the things that we aren't sure about. it shapes our characters and shows us what life is all about. i try to keep that in mind and put myself in a new, risky, sometimes awkward sitation every day. and we can't sleep forever because we are all prisoners of ourselves. we are each others' saviors, you should know that already ;D